Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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