Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
