I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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