i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
