You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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