Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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