we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
