overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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