I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
