Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Houston, we have a squirter
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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