my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
