Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
