She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
