Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
