i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize