i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just want to make out with him forever
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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