have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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