your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
