Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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