she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
