So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
