But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
