ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
