O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
