My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
