is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
