I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
