White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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