I want to stick my p in your. b.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
