well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am naked and annoyed.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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