I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
