Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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