just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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