Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
