you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
