There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize