ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
