that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dear god my vagina.
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