Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize