DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
babies were throwing up all over the place
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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