I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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