Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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