We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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