Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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