I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
