508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
