are you so shy because you have an std?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
