i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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