I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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