Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
