what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm passing your future prison.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
