This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
