Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
