i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
