somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
