So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
there is glitter all over my balls
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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