Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
