My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
