The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
