I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
