# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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