oh god the rape fog is back!
I've blown a few things in my day
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
