i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
