I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
