Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize