we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
