dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
