You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
either way he was missing a nipple.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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