The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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