Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
