I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
