okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
